Fish attracting devices (FADs) that are anchored to the bottom and float beneath the surface of the water are illegal, probably because they are made of nondegradable materials and pose a hazard to navigation if they break loose and drift about. For the unitiated among you, a typical FAD is a 5x8 plastic tarpaulin zip tied to a PVC frame. One end of the frame has a polypropelene bridle tied to the corners. A polypropelene anchor line is tied to the center of the bridle and to a makeshift anchor weighing around 75 pounds. Crab trap buoys are attached to the corners where the bridle is tied to prevent the whole contraption from sinking to the bottom, and a couple of small sections of a flotation noodle are zip tied to the other end of the frame to make it float as well. The anchor line is only long enough to allow the FAD to float about 15 feet below the surface. The intended effect of this Rube Goldberg engineering is a plastic door floating horizontally beneath the surface, on which grows flora and fauna, which attracts small bait, which attracts larger bait, which attracts weary, migrating cobia, who take up residence in the shade of the FAD and leisurely avail themselves of the amazing and unexpected bait buffet, waiting in ignorance for the FAD outlaws to come and harvest them. As I said, FADs are illegal, so I and my kith and kin would never stoop to engage in such nefarious activity. Well, maybe not nefarious. After all, FADs are not
malum in se like murder or incest
; they are
malum prohibitum like jaywalking or shooting dove at a water hole at dusk
. Which I suppose was the exculpatory rationale of the outlaw gang I heard about on Saturday. I was told that a scurvy lot of s
cofflaws departed from Destin Harbor Saturday morning to deploy two FADs to the west in 60 feet of water about five nautical miles apart. They were led by two ruffians who shall go unnamed, and who, like Rooster Cogburn, are known on the docks and in the dives of the northeastern Gulf coast to be ruthless men, double tough; fear don't enter into their thinking.
Actually, it is also widely known that these two don't do much thinking at all, as illustrated by the fact that I was told they forgot the crab trap buoys, an inexplicable omission that bid fair to bring their entire criminal enterprise to naught. But a child's life jacket and a flotation cushion were pressed into service, and these improvisations worked well enough, as both FADs deployed as intended. Later, the smug members of the gang were seen lolling about East Pass marina in the sun or cavorting in a nearby swimming pool like porpoises as, over the horizon, small crustaceans began to affix themselves to the underside of the FADs, beginning the circle of life that will result, the malefactors hope, in the death of a number of delicious cobia. Bad doings all around.
cofflaws departed from Destin Harbor Saturday morning to deploy two FADs to the west in 60 feet of water about five nautical miles apart. They were led by two ruffians who shall go unnamed, and who, like Rooster Cogburn, are known on the docks and in the dives of the northeastern Gulf coast to be ruthless men, double tough; fear don't enter into their thinking. 
Actually, it is also widely known that these two don't do much thinking at all, as illustrated by the fact that I was told they forgot the crab trap buoys, an inexplicable omission that bid fair to bring their entire criminal enterprise to naught. But a child's life jacket and a flotation cushion were pressed into service, and these improvisations worked well enough, as both FADs deployed as intended. Later, the smug members of the gang were seen lolling about East Pass marina in the sun or cavorting in a nearby swimming pool like porpoises as, over the horizon, small crustaceans began to affix themselves to the underside of the FADs, beginning the circle of life that will result, the malefactors hope, in the death of a number of delicious cobia. Bad doings all around.
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